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CANINE  COLLEGIATE  REVIEW  Special  edition   October, 1999
Dear Editor:

While I realize that you are holding your editorial page open this month for letters about hazing, a recent news story so outraged me that I hope you will publish my letter too, even though it is about a different subject (but one that could get very bad). We are all too aware that dogs are often used as scapegoats to divert attention away from human perfidy. The classic example of this is the shopworn cliche that "the dog ate my homework", used by schoolchildren from time immemorial. But a recent humanoid news item at alludes to accusations of a dog named Boris covertly switching his human's long distance telephone provider. This suggestion by itself is preposterous on its face, as most dogs are aware that such behavior would lead to revocation of their telephone priviledges. But the last straw is the notion that the mischief was undertaken by a dead dog, unable to defend himself from the besmirching of his memory.
I wish to offer condolences to all of Boris's family and friends.
                            Priscilla Pooch
Dear Editor:

In regard to freshman hazing and/or fraternity initiation,  some of us parents have just about had it with these animal antics.  We sent our son to a well known school in Vermont.  Two weeks later we had to go fetch him home to recuperate from a very painful encounter with a porcupine.  It seems that he could not belong to I Wanta Bite until he had barked up an old Porcy that the fellows knew about out in the brush.  College administrators ought not to allow these things to get out of bound.

Mr. and Mrs. Spencer Spaniel
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