CONFERENCE ON PRESSING ISSUES TO BE
HELD IN JULY
Arrangements are currently being made for concensus gathering and action formulating by an all night series of conference calls on the Extra Sensory Notification Network during the second week in July. The committees on action will meet by conference calls during the first week in July and an abstract of the report on canine psychological aberrations made by Doctor Emeritus Minkley Houndog of Cowford University will be aired shortly after midnight after the puppies are asleep.
PAPER ON INTELLECTUAL HIERARCHY STIRS CONTROVERSY
Professor Rudolph von Yelper of Yodelberg University in Lucerne has set up the following hierarchy to explain the necessity of professional counselling in the placement of puppies for adoption by humanoid families:
1. highest intelligence criteria successful problem solving- humanoid manipulation-survival habituation
( von Yelper states that this category includes only lupus type canines and these should be placed only with elderly humanoids with ample country estates)
2. adaptability criteria: low anxiety -versatility in response-ability to do immediate evaluation These are the only dogs that can be safely fobbed off on unstable humanoids.
3. rigidity criteria: inability to modify archtypical behavior- self defeating destructiveness-inability to control barking. Dogs of this type will probably be abused, go on the street, or be put to sleep.
The liberal elements of canine society see this attempt at categorization as a violation canine rights and will undoubtedly demonstrate if ideas of this sort appear on the political scene.
PLANS UNDERWAY FOR "PEOPLE DAYS" IN THE COLDEST TIME
Rin Tin Tin College, long an advocate for patience with humanoids, believes that since people have set aside the hot days of midsummer to be known as "dog days", we in turn should allocate certain days as "people Days" and avoid all unpleasant exposure to the weather on these days. Our roving reporter notes that the cafeteria at RTT serves only dry dog food, the curriculum offers only people approved subjects, and no alumni are noted for achievement other than the theater.
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