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CANINE  COLLEGIATE  REVIEW     February  2000 edition
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CULTURAL  NEEDS  NEGLECTED  IN  LEADING  UNIVERSITIES.  By Beatrice Beagle, staff reporter.
     At a recent gathering of heads of dogocracy departments held in Boston, a paper by Professor Cory Caninest of Barkley University  was read and discussed.  It was made plain by the professor that the needs of our humanoid sponsors to manipulate  and utilize our species have caused our canine culture to be completely neglected.  For instance, Caninest points out, the average graduate of  humanoid approved colleges and universities can accommodate to the expectations of his person but is so out of touch with his own primordial instincts and needs that he usually develops some neurosis that unfits him to survive in an unusual environment.  It is left to the few remaining wild canines and street dogs to memorize and pass on our mighty legends, racial memories and tribal rituals.  This is particularly true of the ability to vocalize in unison.

     Professor Caninest suggests that courses should be added to all our institutions of higher education that stress  dog ideology and that contests in team vocalization should be developed.
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SAN  FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA
     Humanoid police officers recently rounded up a group of miscellaneous dogs who were yodelling and howling as they ran in figure eights up and down Market Street.  Among those who spent a night in the local pound was one who seems to be connected to Barkley University, a well known canine college.
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