WORKING DOG WONDERS May 1999 page 2
by Trixie Tailtip
It is with some chagrin that a few of our locals have become aware that our security has been breached. Plans and procedures that we have secretly formulated have become ineffective in execution to the extent that those in the know are sure of leaks. Who are these dastardly double agents? Do you see a fellow working dog who enjoys unusual privileges? (sleeping in the house, riding on the tractor, swimming in the family pool, enjoying unearned titbits) He or she is suspect. When he of she appears at union meetings, clam up. If he or she wangles a committee appointment,be sure that that committee handles only inoccuous matters. Workers of the World unite. The end will justify the means.
SAFE OBSTRUCTIONISM AS A UNION
TOOL by Fluffy Duffer
It is an unhappy but increasingly evident fact of Working Dog life that we are dependant on our contracts with man for survival, as our wild habitat is so near destruction as makes no difference. But our native cunning and our ability to unite in a common cause will provide us with a comfortable existence if we watch every opportunity to stretch the contract in our direction without breaking it. To this end most of our educational institutions are offering courses in Safe Obstructionism, and the Union will provide seminars and back alley training sessions for those who can't get this training in other ways. Listen to Extra Sensory Notification Network for dates and times and be sure to attend.
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED AT SPIFFCHESTER by Scruffydog Sneak
Only a few of our members are privileged enough to watch television news, and these few were nauseated by a newsclip taken at the upscale Sheepdog Trials at the country estate of Lord and Lady Buckschester. These annual events locally referred to simply as "Spiffchester" are the creme de la creme social events of the county year. As a special interest feature this spring the L & L hosted a baby chick herding exhibition in which the faithful wd's were required to round up baby chicks who were milling around in the grass and drop them uninjured into a box. After the film clip had been skillfully (and exorbitantly expensively) doctored, the public saw how the wd's skillfully and heroicly succeeded at this degrading task. But one member of our union, using safe obstruction techniques recently learned at a culvert seminar, has confessed to swallowing two of these fluffy morsels whole, thereby grabbing a substantial commission without endangering the participating wd's.
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