CANINE COLLEGIATE
REVIEW February 2000 edition
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CULTURAL NEEDS
NEGLECTED IN LEADING UNIVERSITIES. By Beatrice
Beagle, staff reporter.
At a recent gathering of heads of dogocracy departments held in Boston,
a paper by Professor Cory Caninest of Barkley University was read
and discussed. It was made plain by the professor that the needs
of our humanoid sponsors to manipulate and utilize our species have
caused our canine culture to be completely neglected. For instance,
Caninest points out, the average graduate of humanoid approved colleges
and universities can accommodate to the expectations of his person but
is so out of touch with his own primordial instincts and needs that he
usually develops some neurosis that unfits him to survive in an unusual
environment. It is left to the few remaining wild canines and street
dogs to memorize and pass on our mighty legends, racial memories and tribal
rituals. This is particularly true of the ability to vocalize in
unison.
Professor Caninest suggests that courses should be added to all our institutions
of higher education that stress dog ideology and that contests in
team vocalization should be developed.
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SAN FRANCISCO,
CALIFORNIA
Humanoid police officers recently rounded up a group of miscellaneous dogs
who were yodelling and howling as they ran in figure eights up and down
Market Street. Among those
who spent a night in the local pound was one who seems to be connected
to Barkley University, a well known canine college.
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